So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
