try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
