this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
