he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
