weddingsv make me drug and hornr
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
