Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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