dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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