Say something about gay babies.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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