I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
