is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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