hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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