I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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