Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
