I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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