hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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