i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
