I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
