When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
