I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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