Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
