New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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