he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
