somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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