it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
