it wasn't lemon gatorade
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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