it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
