I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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