yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
