I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
