okay pat passed out under dana's car
I skipped work to stalk him.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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