I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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