Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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