even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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