I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
