what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
