i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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