I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
