You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
