ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
