Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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