Don't make out with my wife yet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
