I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
