I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
