i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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