I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
