where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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