Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize