his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
not ubering you a puppy
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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