Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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