yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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