Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
