u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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