Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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